Love and Vomit

Being married is great.

How come authors never tell you what happens after the happy couples ride off into the sunset?

There are so many wonderful things to report about married life. The plans, the trips, the surprises, the jokes, the support, the fun.

Oh, and there’s also the easily nauseated cat barfing on the wooden floor while the wife is scanning her mind for the perfect first year anniversary gift. And the puke is of such a repulsive volume that the wife has to abandon her anniversary ponderings to decide which towel is expendable, and then slide up the partially digested cat pellets into the poor towel and decide whether it should be washed or just thrown out. And then the wife thinks, Oh, what a waste. We shouldn’t throw this away. So she puts the towel in the bathtub and tries to clean it out — only these enormous barf chunks keep floating up into her hands, and she realizes she’s not going to finish eating her oatmeal that morning.

Ah, happily ever after.  ☺

Maybe this is what the authors choose to leave out.

As I said, being married is great. Just keep an eye on your cat.

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3 responses to “Love and Vomit

  1. LOLOL..just wait till you have to spend the anniversary-present money on a plumber to clear out the pipes in the tub. I guess you’ve answered your own question about why writers don’t deal with post-sunset events.

  2. I will accept soggy cat puke pellets for my anniversary gift. Paper is the classic gift, clocks are the modern, and cat vomit is the future!

  3. i think that cat was responding with extreme nausea to your parading around the condo in your marriage is so wonderful bliss, cats are most intuitive and obviously morally against something, who am i to declare what it may be. : ) Let me know the dates you will be celebrating your anniv in NY, i will prepare maddie with anti-emetics..

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